I have had two encounters so far, two really good encounters that I don’t regret. My reasoning behind buying the services of these women have been that of a lack of experience in some areas surrounding bdsm. My two encounters were with a domme that I wrestled with and the other had a regular bdsm session with bondage, bodyworship and smothering. Even though there was barely anything sexual, I felt more exitment over this than regular sex and I honestly felt more free when I hired the services of these women.

For me hiring a Sex worker is not only about sex, its so much more, thats why I think its a great way to explore and express certain kinks or desires that society deems wrong and weird. Even though I’m the one getting “hurt”, I would without a doubt do it again, with other SW, for me its like a good addiction that allows me to be myself without judgment.

JF, client

 

~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~

 

My experiences with sex workers is both new and brief. The first and only encounter I made, was with a local dominatrix. For two years I had contemplated this individual’s services, making a steady saving from my income so that I may afford her services, but the nature of my work, being temporary and infrequent, made this progress slow. I was hesitant at moving towards accomplishing this aim, as I feared entrapment by a stranger of whom I knew little and could possibly blackmail me.

I observed on her twitter the activities she did, and the reviews she got on her website, and steadily, my confidence grew that this was at least reliable enough to be trusted. Eventually I contacted her, met her, and had a one-hour session, and it was enjoyable. I won’t divulge intimate details, but suffice to say, my interests covered what she offered in her services, and it was enjoyable not only being in the company of an attractive young woman, but to be able to be honest and open about something that was kept secret for half of my life and reveled in it without being judged or prejudiced.

I intend to revisit her again once I have saved the money, but intriguingly, this encounter has spurred me on to seek the services others of whom may satisfy my intrigues, namely that of escorts. Again, I’m being cautious, observing these individuals from their web pages, their reviews, and doing my homework on how reliable they are, from websites such as UKPunting.

Why do I do this? Am I addicted? I wouldn’t say I search and act upon these activities with any sense of desperation or loneliness, rather, the thrills that I would obtain from these is much more accessible, can be provided, and I don’t have to go through the aggravation, perhaps even the heartache, that I would endure from someone who isn’t part of this professional discipline, and instead, I’m in the company of someone who aren’t pretentious, who aren’t stringing me along, who I may share with interests, and, on these rare occasions, connect with a human, even briefly, in a manner that might be akin to a friendship, something which I struggle with on a daily basis. Essentially, I’m indulging my pleasure of having a friend with benefits, and not feeling the overwhelming dejected feelings I get, from someone who jilt me because of something I lack.

R, client

 

~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~

 

“WHY I SEE SEX WORKERS?

To be clear, I see only those sex workers whom I am certain have neither been trafficked nor work in any other way against their will.  I see only those who have made a choice to work in the sex industry of their own free will.  It is well known there are women who have been trafficked and work under a pimp, or have addictions or mental health problems.

All of these situations are dreadful.  The state should prosecute criminals and help those women to change their lives for the better with medical and other interventions. Absurdly, the proposed laws seek to conflate these harrowing cases with the many transactions that are conducted between consenting adults. The idea that it is only abusive, manipulative and otherwise horrible men who access sex workers is utter rubbish.  These are my reasons for seeking services.

Some of us did not have a happy, fulfilling upbringing.  Some of us were not allowed the opportunity to mature into well-rounded, emotionally secure, sexually confident, educated individuals.  Some of us started the day with physical or verbal assaults and told about the beating we would receive that evening.  Some of us were asked to play with uncle’s penis or show him our bottom, drink a special drink (alcoholic) to make us happy (and compliant); all a big secret of course.

We locked ourselves in our room, we isolated ourselves from danger and cut ourselves because we deserved it, we poured acid on our skin hoping someone, perhaps a teacher, would notice the burns and ask us if we were okay.  We just wanted to be loved.  In later life we stumbled from one abusive relationship to another, became depressed, attempted suicide, but eventually were lucky enough to have the medical profession intervene and help us back from the edge.

And now, twenty years on I have worked through much of that trauma and spent a fucking fortune on therapy!  It was worth it because I have learned how to function relatively normally as a social being, yet I remain broken in many ways and long ago accepted that relationships were just too difficult.  But I still yearn intimate contact and feel incomplete without it. Sex workers offer me this possibility.  Indeed, often the time I spend with them includes little or no sexual activity, just lying together hand in hand or with her head resting on my shoulder.  It provides an interval of peace and closeness normally unknown to me; I emerge emotionally refreshed. Sure, on other occasions there will be sex, sometimes gentle, sometimes vigorous and raunchy but in all these cases it is by way of a consensual agreement.

Further, I exist within the world of BDSM. I enjoy being restrained, beaten hard and strap-on fucked by a dominatrix.  I don’t know why I enjoy these activities and do not wish to over-analyse it.  My therapist suggests it might be about re-enacting past trauma but in a way whereby I am in control; does this make it therapeutic as well hugely enjoyable?  Who knows, but the result is the same.  I feel satisfied, nourished, purged of guilt and happy.  How on earth would I find these services without access to the Professional Dominatrix.  Incidentally, the dominatrix will almost never permit any intimate contact with her body. (So I wonder how proposed laws work/not work in these situations?)”

Joe, client

 

~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~

 

“The question asked on Twitter:

‘Why did you pay a professional? What was your reasoning?’

Got me thinking, and since my thoughts are a bit lengthy I decided to E mail. I hope you don’t mind. You need to bear in mind that I am relatively new to ‘the scene’ and my only experience is with Dominatrix, so some of my assumptions might be incorrect…

Firstly, what is in a name? I do not think the catch all label of ‘Sex Worker’ does you any favours, what you offer is far more than that. You talked to me about ‘sub space’ so there is a large Psychological element in what you do. You could think of a session as a sort of therapy, a release from the pressures of everyday life.

Secondly what is a Pro Domme? I may be wrong but presumably anyone can set themselves up as a Pro Domme, they can create a professional looking website and pay for fictional testimonials. So, in reality, anyone looking to session with a Dominatrix has no idea what they are letting themselves in for until they meet the person face to face. I think that I was fortunate in going with the first Mistress I chose and then the others she referred, but in reality it was pot luck.

What your industry really needs is a sort of Guild or Association which can guarantee a customer a minimum standard, in terms of Safety, training, hygiene etc. If that were to happen then the word ‘Pro’ would have some real meaning.

I also think that some of the reasoning that people give for getting into Sex work is not very positive. I really would not want to session with anyone if I thought they were in it solely for the money. I like to think that they actually enjoy what they do most of the time, and that all participants in a session get enjoyment out of it.

I do not know much about what is being proposed in parliament but by the sounds of things it will drive things underground and the only people to gain will be the criminal gangs, who they want to stop.

Unfortunately, there are too many misconceptions and unless you have entered into your world you really would have no clue.

I admire your stand on the matter, keep up the good work and don’t let the buggers get you down.

Best Wishes”

JR, client

 

~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~

 

“Dear Caitlin     (Caitlin Moran, Journalist)

Your most recent column ended “…stop telling girls what to wear”

Are you aware that Sarah Champion MP is allegedly telling women what jobs not to do? Please read the email below.  I am an acquaintance of the author of the email below and we have a mutually respectful, mutually beneficial, safe and kind relationship.

I predict that Sarah Champion’s proposals (if enacted) will lead to men being blackmailed.

The road to hell is paved with ideology and people who mistakenly believe they have a right to decide what consenting adults can do.

If Sarah Champion gets her way, the  limited resources of the Police and the “Justice” system will inevitably be channeled  away from targeting child abusers, pimps, people traffickers and drug pushers.

(The term sex worker has a harshness to it. The term sexual therapist is perhaps more accurate.)

Regards”

Johnnie R, Client

 

~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~

 

“Prior to visiting a sex worker, I was overweight, lonely and depressed. My self-worth was tied to my results in video games and the acquisition of the latest technology and gadgets.

I suffer from severe social anxiety and have abandonment issues which I am still to this day trying to get over, it’s very difficult for me to make friends due to my ineptitude during social situations and has lead to several bouts of depression and over 15 years of keeping myself away as much as possible from the world and the people in it.

I’ve kept or tried to keep all of this from my family and one true friend I have, because I was ashamed of the way I am, that all changed after I visited a sex worker.

I’d been interested in BDSM my entire life, I suffered from a form of epilepsy where I would blackout and become aggressive and violent during childhood, the safest I ever felt was when I recovered from a seizure during school being physically restrained, that’s where my interest in bondage comes from.

In the early part of 2018 I was finally getting fed up of being alone and wanted to try out my kinks in a safe place, I booked to attend a BDSM event that lasted all day, I had no intention of staying all day but I booked for that because the financial requirement was significant enough that it would force me to go.

I attended that event and actually stayed all day. By the end of the day, I thought I’d had enough but got talking to the domme who ran the event, this was the first time in years I had spoken about my problems with someone and instantly felt the weight lifted from my shoulders. What happened next was the most amazing experience of my life, this person who I barely knew manipulated my body to release natural chemicals and endorphins and gave me an experience I will cherish for the rest of my life.

I went away from my first experience with a sex worker feeling a new found desire to conquer my fears and rid myself of the anxiety that has ruled my life. Over the next month after my experience, I’d gone to London by myself for the first time ever and visited places I had been recommended by another sex worker at the event. I had gone on my first date in 11 years, something which I never would have imagined myself doing at the start of the year, slowly I was gaining confidence to do new things.

Which leads to a night that started like any other, I got home from work and looking forward to another boring evening at home by myself, so I randomly put out a tweet saying I’m bored anybody got some recommendations of what to do. Not expecting any replies, I went about my evening as normal, when my phone alert goes off, I look and it’s the same person who I had opened up to jokingly recommending her kink friendly social event that she runs. Well that joke I took seriously and decided if I was ever going to attend an event of this nature it would be without any planning, so I headed out the door to the event.

Once I arrived my anxiety was in full force but I was fighting it as best I could, It took me over 40 minutes to get inside fighting myself every step of the way. When I entered the room packed with so many people I went into a full blown panic attack and was seconds from leaving when I heard a familiar voice ask if I was ok, It was the same person who I opened up to at the BDSM event. I couldn’t really answer the question properly, but she realised I was in distress and helped me to a quiet location to help me cope, This bought in another person who I had met at the BDSM event, she recognised me straight away and helped me through my panic attack and back to level ground.

The night that followed was one of the most rewarding of my life, always feeling safe and looked after, I was gently encouraged to speak to new people and introduced to many people throughout the night.

Since that night I have gone out and socialised more in the 30 day period after the social event than I have in the previous 5 years, I’m getting my anxiety under control and becoming more confident, I also have new friends and people that care for me and I care for them. For the first time in my life I feel like I’m part of something worthwhile, I’ve found a place I feel like I belong, I want to go out and meet new people, make new friends and have new experiences.

None of this would have been possible without the incredible sex workers that have helped and encouraged me every step of the way, I am now living a much healthier life style, having lost nearly 40lbs in body weight since my first experience, I am going out to new places, meeting new people, making new friends.

I would hate for there to be someone else out there like me that didn’t have a way of exploring in a safe environment, I would equally hate to live in a world where the incredible people that have helped me so much, a lot of it on there own time, could not practice and provide the services they love providing.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I am a better person today because of sex workers and I will never be able to fully show my gratitude.”

SS, client